Happiest Family On The Block

40th Anniversary

2011-10-01T08:17:00.000-07:00

Today we are leaving for a week long anniversary celebration!! Don't you think we deserve it? We have been married to each other for 40 years!!! Has it been all rosy days, happy times? NO!! Has it been worth all the tears, the trials, the heartache? YES!! I hope we have 40 more years together!
Here are pictures of us then and now. How are we doing?

40 years ago ~ October 2, 1971

40 years later

A Prayer for Growing Old Gracefully

2011-09-26T20:00:00.000-07:00

Lord, Thou knowest better than I myself that I am growing older and will someday be old. Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion.
Realease me from the craving to straighten out everybody's affairs. Make me thoughtful but not moody, helpful but not bossy. With my vast store of wisdom, it seems pity not to use it all; but Thou knowest, Lord, that I want a few friends in the end. Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details: give me wings to get to the point. Seal my lips on my aches and pains; they are increasing and the love of rehearsing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by.
I dare not ask for improved memory, but for a growing humility, and a lessening cocksureness when my memory seems to clash with the memory of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be mistaken.
Keep me reasonably sweet, for a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the devil. Give me the ability to see the good things in unexpected places and give me, O Lord, the grace to tell them so. AMEN

TGIF

2011-09-23T19:32:00.000-07:00

We all know what TGIF means, don't we? Thank Goodness It's Friday! That is so true, and my husband can really relate to that one.... but I found a better meaning that I would like to share with all my friends! I saw this expression at a very dear friend's house and I might be posting this every Friday for a while.
TGIF
Thank God I'm Forgiven!

Isn't that wonderful? We are forgiven! Praise God!!!

Happy Marriage

2011-09-23T11:28:00.000-07:00

Do you take time for each other? I remember too well when our kids were little, that we did not take enough time for each other. There were always legitimate reasons, we thought.. the children needed me, we didn't have any money, the Mr. was working two jobs, I was worn out, etc, etc. Yes those were all reasons for not doing it, but thinking back now I realize that they could have been easily overcome.
The children would be fine without me/us for a few hours.
No we didn't have any extra money, but a walk in the park, and ice cream cone somewhere, window shopping at the mall, a quiet drive in the country, just a walk around the block... any of these require very little to no money to do. it would have enriched our marriage a lot if we had done these things. Now we have no kids at home and we can run away occasionally! It is fun! So, go make a date with your honey.. you will be glad you did!
It is true, especially in these tough economic times that many are working two jobs. When there is added stress, it is even more important to make time to spend with each other. So hubby( or wife) comes home at 10PM...can you go anywhere...can you spend any extra money? No to all! So, what CAN you do? When he/she come home late do your best to make things pleasant for them. The house is straight and there are delicious aromas coming from the kitchen. The children are ready for bed and just waiting for a few minutes with Mom/Dad. Give them that time because that is important too. Then, get them in bed and finish preparing the dinner for your spouse. Spend an hour or two just sitting together on the sofa sharing your day with each one another... Go outside and sit on the porch together, snuggle on the porch swing.......
So many time at the end of the day you will be worn out.. totally exhausted... I can't put one foot in front of the other tired. You don't feel like doing a thing! That is the time to not do anytime but take the time to plan something for in the future.. It can be so much fun to take a few minutes to plan an outing for some time later. Then the anticipation of that time can carry you through the rough days you are both having!
None of these ideas are wildly exciting. Life isn't always going to be exciting, but it can be fulfilling and rewarding if you take the time to make it so. It is the little things, many times, that bring the most enjoyment, so take a minute and make things happen!!

Welcoming Fall

2011-09-20T10:39:00.000-07:00

Isn't fall the most wonderful time of the year?!! I think it is my favorite! I made this for a friend of mine and I think I would like one for myself. It would look so pretty on my front door.

2011-09-19T17:19:00.000-07:00

Have you ever longed to have a luxurious top-of-the-line motor home? Sometimes I have thought it would so much fun to be able to just get in and travel wherever I wanted to go.. I don't think it will ever happen though. Yesterday my husband and I went to a "county fair", called Field Days of the Past, outside of Richmond, VA. It was the epitome of the old fashioned county fair from years ago. One of the displays was the first motor homes ever made, I think. Take a look at this!

This vintage motorhome had everything you could want... a bunk that converted into a sofa, a tiny wood stove in the corner... cooking and heat! Don't let me forget to mention that towed along behind was your own private bathroom. Your washing machine hung on the side along with your water supply. I mean this was first class!!! I bet it got a lot better gas mileage!

Oh yes, I forgot! If you bought this at the fair they had an incredible deal! They would throw in 3 dozen eggs and a chicken!! If I had needed eggs I might have been tempted!

Happy Marriage

2011-09-15T14:38:00.000-07:00

Guess what!!! Marriage is work!!! But it is fun work. Having a sense of humor, playing some jokes, laughing a lot, loving a lot, praying a lot...making a journey of memories. My husband and I still laugh at the jokes we pulled on each other when we were first married. Now he knows I DON'T LIKE FROGS... He came home one night with his lunch box in hand. When I opened his thermos, out jumped a tree frog and landed right on me. I was not a happy camper then, but it is so funny now when I think about it. I got him back... One morning I crept into the bathroom as he was showering, knelt down in front of the tub, reached under the shower curtain and grabbed his ankles.. OHHH, I can still hear his yell!!!!! I thought he was coming over the top! We are still married, and it has been almost 40 years of fun, work, laughter, tears, sorrows and many, many joys!!

Relax and let me share a few tips.

Say, "I love you". Say it when you leave the house, say it on the phone, say it in a note, say it when you go to sleep. You can't say it too many times! It will be a soft whisper in the heart of your loved one throughout the day.

Say, "I am sorry." Ohhhhhhhhhhh, this is hard!! We all have an over-abundance of pride and we don't want to say these three simple little words. Maybe you aren't the only one who is wrong. Guess what, someone has to be first. Go ahead, swallow your pride and SAY IT!! What healing it will bring!

Come back for more. It will be exciting as we work through ways to make your home the "Happiest Family on the Block".

Welcome Wednesday

2011-09-14T09:41:00.000-07:00

Come join the fun! Sign up for Welcome Wednesday Blog Hop and meet new friends! Grab the Welcome Wednesday button on your right and have a great Wednesday!

Our Wonderful Economy!

2011-09-13T12:57:00.000-07:00

I am wondering... are all of you out there feeling the hit to your budgets as we are? Are you having to tighten your belts, put off retirement, forego the home improvements you wanted to do? Give me your thoughts. We have really felt it this year!!! I am trying to do all I can to help make ends meet, but it always seems we have too much month left over at the end o our money.
Here are some of the things I have tried to do:
Stay at home as much as possible
Make sure I consolidate all my town trips in to one trip a week.
Drive slower
Buying less convenience food
Eating out less
Purchasing clothes on e-Bay or at secondhand stores
AND, Selling on e-Bay, selling on Etsy, selling on Amazon, selling on Barnes and Noble... selling, selling, selling!!
Give me your ideas! I would love to hear them!

What Can I Say?

2011-09-12T20:26:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe it has been almost a year since I have talked to you all! What happened, you might ask? Well, this last year has been one I never expected! Our beautiful, courageous daughter and her 2 precious little girls came to live with us, we had a granddaughter born in April and a grandson born in May, we survived an earthquake and a hurricane plus many more minor unexpected events. We are also waiting to meet a new grandchild, due in November!!

I will get back in the blogging mode shortly.. until then, these are my 2 newest grandchildren!

Psalm 139

2010-11-16T20:44:00.000-08:00

This is so beautiful!!

Great Little Saying!

2010-11-14T22:26:00.000-08:00

I saw this little saying when I was in Texas and just have to share it!!!

" Shopping with my man is like Hunting with the game warden!!"

Now, how many of you agree with that?

New Tuesday Blog Hops

2010-11-09T09:05:00.000-08:00

Check these new Tuesday Blog Hops! A great way to meet new friends, find new ideas and just have fun! Click on the buttons on the right to hop your way to fun!

Happier Marriage

2010-11-09T08:36:00.000-08:00

How many of us at times become very frustrated in our marriages? Probably, if we were all honest, we all have been VERY frustrated, many, many times. Sometimes it gets to the point where we just want to give it all up! I know that in my own marriage many times I thought that if HE would only change then things would be better... I didn't look at how I could change to make things better. Let's look at this from a different angle...
I was talking to someone recently and she was commenting on the fact that many times her husband didn't tell the truth to her. Now I don't think it was about major things.. lets assume it wasn't. She mentioned that she had asked him to pay a bill... he said he would... she asked hime again if he had... he said he did... then she found out that he hadn't paid the bill. I don't know all the ins and outs of this scenerio so I am going to just use this incident as an example.
Does this wife habitually nag and fuss at her husband? Does she criticize him about the way he does or doesn't do things? You know, he may have had a lot on his mind and just forgot to pay that bill. Then when she asked him again if he had paid it, he mentally weighed his options.... "Which is better, for me to tell the truth and have her fuss and yell at me because I forgot, or for me to not tell the truth and say I paid it, even though I didn't. I can go pay it real soon and she will not know."
I am not saying that the husband should not be honest, he should always tell the truth. However, if she is constantly on his case, he might think that lying is the lesser of two evils! We, as wives, can do our part in keeping a marriage in harmony by biting our tongues when we catch ourselves starting to fuss and nag!
Lets try this scenerio instead.... There's a bill to be paid. The wife comes to the husband and says," Honey, I know you are busy, but do you think you could pay this bill that is due? It needs to be paid right away!"
He responds,"Sure, I will try to remember to do it tomorrow."
She says," Thanks, I will call you to remind you, just in case you forget."
Guess what? I bet he remembers!... but just in case, she can call an jog his memory and there is no conflict.
Did I always do this? NO! I wish I could say that I did, but I too often failed. It would help to create a peaceful happy home if we, as wives, remember to do our part in communicating with our husbands.
Just a thought.....

Consistancy

2010-10-13T09:17:00.000-07:00

Why is it so hard as mothers to be consistant with our children? When mine were young it was a constant battle to follow through when I was attempting to discipline or instruct my children.
To often we say,"if you don't do "such and such" I am going to ____. Then when the particular action happens we forget to follow through.When that occurs over and over, the children very soon learn that mom does not really mean what she says. then the mery-go-round starts. Children misbehave, we threaten, children misbehave again, we threaten again, and so on and so on...... Our frustration rises... we don't understand why our children don't listen.... we get mad.... children get frustrated....
What is wrong here? It is the lack of consistancy. When we tell our children to so something or not do something we should expect immediate obedience. If that is not forecoming then proper discipline should be promptly applied. It will not take too long before the child realizes that we mean business. If we tell our children that they are going to be punished if they do something, then that punishment should happen the first time, not the third, fourth or fifth time.
Life will be so much more orderly, pleasant and much less stressfulfor you and for your children. Many parents do not realize that their children like order, continuity, and structure as much a we do. It gives them a great sense of security.
Any thoughts?

Are We "Good" Grandparents?

2010-09-28T09:46:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered if you were a "good" grandparent? By that I mean a grandparent that nurtures the grandchildren and supports the parents. We often see that little saying, "If momma says "NO" ask Grandma." While it sounds cute, that is not the way a grandparent should operate. Now, I am talking about normal circumstances... not cases where the parents are not fit to parent their children. When children come to visit Grandma and Grandpa, the parents should have the confidence that the grandparents are going the support their values and methods of childraising. The grandparents should be willing to abide by the same standards and principles that the parents are trying to instill in the children. What do I mean....? Here are a few examples.

If the parents don't want the children to have candy then that should be the rule at Grandma's.
If mom and dad don't want the children to watch TV, there should be no TV at Grandma's.
If mom and dad want their kids to eat all their food on their plates then Grandma had better make sure those plates are clean!
If bedtime is at 8 o'clock, then the pjs go on at 7:30 and the teeth are brushed and prayers said by 8:00.
You get the idea?? This is so important if there is going to be a healthy and happy relationship between parents and grandparents. It really isn't that hard either!

Happy Grandparenting!

* Etiquette En Vogue: HOW TABLE MANNERS BENEFIT KIDS LATER IN LIFE

2010-09-17T11:39:00.000-07:00

Check out this great blog. We need more of this kind of wonderful advise!
* Etiquette En Vogue: HOW TABLE MANNERS BENEFIT KIDS LATER IN LIFE

Going Camping!!

2010-09-16T22:45:00.001-07:00

We are going camping tomorrow!. I can't wait! My family including my husband, 4 of my 6 children and their spouses and children, my 2 brothers, their spouses, children and grandchildren... for a total of 38 people!!! Are we crazy? Maybe, but it is a fun crazy! We are all so close and always have so much fun together!

Homeschool! Yes or No

2010-09-15T13:28:00.001-07:00

Help!! I don't know what to do!!

I homeschooled my children for 19 years from start to finish. IT IS A BIG JOB!!! It is a job I have never regretted, but it can be overwhelming. Maybe you are not ready to take the plunge yet. You might be hesitant to take that BIG step. There are so many things to think about, especially if you are going to teach several grade levels. Now is the time to start planning for next year.Where do you start?
If you’re new to the idea of homeschooling, you will have questions. I am sure you have been overwhelmed at the different choices you have to make. How can you possibley prepare for the school year and all that comes with it? Do you have to buy a specific curriculum, or do you even need one? Before you allow yourself to get too stressed, the following guidelines might help to make the process easier.
1. Learn your state’s homeschooling laws. Each state has their own laws concerning educating your child. Some states require the curriculum to be submitted and approved before the school year begins. Some require testing every year. A few states require a weekly of bi-weekly check of a child's progress.It is the parents responsiblity to make sure you understand and obey the laws in your state.
2. Write down your educational goals for your child. Is your child one who will want to go to college or not. Are they more interested in working with their hands or is math, English and history what excites them? Taking the time to think about this will help you decide which curriculum will best meet those goals. It will also give you a guide to see if you’re on track throughout the year.
3. Develop an educational philosophy by determining what you believe to be important. While we believed that our children's academic education was important, their spiritual, moral and emotional development were even more important. Are you concerned just about academics, or do you consider character development to be equally important? Do you want your child to be able to learn for a test, or do you want them to learn to think for themselves?
4. Decide what type of personality your family has – do you normally schedule everything down to the minute, or are you more spontaneous. Knowing this one piece of information can make a big difference in choosing the style or method of homeschooling you choose. Many curriculums are very structured and allow very little "wiggle room", while others offer greater flexibility.
5. Know your child’s learning style? Are they a hearing, seeing, or doing learner? Knowing their learning style will help you determine what items you will need to best meet their ability to learn.
If your children are very young, you don’t have to purchase the latest curriculum. Spend time with them helping them learn to write their alphabet, learn simple math, and prepare them to learn to read. Small workbooks available at most discount stores. Making school fun when they are young will help form their outlook for school later in life. Use candy or beans to teach math concepts. Teach them to form their letters properly, use shaving cream or rice on a cookie sheet. As you can see, you don’t need to spend a great deal of money to teach the basics.
After teaching the basics, make sure your child has an opportunity for fun. Get involved in a support group with other homeschoolers. These groups can be a great help to you and to your children. Each mother can take turns hosting a day with the kids. By teaching something collectively while the children interact with each other, the children are learning to experience healthy competition. Plan some play days or field trips. let the children run and work off some of their pent-up energy. Having a support group helps moms, as well, especially when you have questions or need guidance.
Subscribe to some homeschooling magazines or newsletters. This will also help when you have questions because you’ll be able to see how other people homeschool and learn how they handle the different aspects of daily life while homeschooling. It will help you to know that you’re not alone.
Plan on going back to school yourself; continue reading and learning as you teach your child. When my kids got to the middle school years, I realized how rusty my algebra was. I decided to go to our l ocal junior college and take a course in algebra. I was so glad I did! There will always be new things to learn, so plan on becoming a life learner. As your child grows you may need to try a different approach. By reading and learning along the way, you’ll be better able to make the necessary changes.
Choosing to homeschool is not always an easy decision to make. However, when you realize that you can do it and follow these basic guidelines, you’ll soon realize that you made the right choice. Homeschooling is an awesome opportunity for you, your family, and your children to learn and grow together.

Be Joyful Always: Time for Cooking

2010-09-14T11:32:00.000-07:00

Be Joyful Always: Time for Cooking

Two darling granddaughters!!

2010-09-14T09:01:00.000-07:00

I learned something new last week.. or should I say, I relearned something new last week. Something I had forgotten when my children grew up. Do not leave two 3 years old girls unsupervised for more than 30 seconds!!! I had 2 of my darling little granddaughters at my house for 2 days and 2 nights. It was so much fun and I enjoyed it thoroughly, but I had forgotten how fast children that age can find "fun" things to do. Three year olds can empty a toy box, unroll toilet paper, change their clothes and find candy faster than I can turn around!
God designed us to have children when we were young for a reason!!

Hello Everyone!

2010-09-13T20:58:00.000-07:00

I know you all thought I had fallen off the face of the earth!! I didn't... I really didn't! I have just been orbiting the earth in high speed the last several months... or so it seems.
I am committed to blogging again.... between bookselling, my Etsy store, my grandchildren, coaching laboring moms, trips to Texas to see my grandchildren, etc, etc I AM going to try to be a consistant blogger again.
You all tell me what you want to hear. Is it raising children, birthing children, living with teenagers, finances, making money? I have done it all at one time or another. Most everything I did imperfectly, ask my husband and children, they will tell you! I did learn from my mistakes, most of the time... Have you heard the old expression; "A wise man learns form his mistakes, but a wiser man learns from other's mistakes." Learn from my mistakes so you don't have to make them yourself!
There are so many things I want to share with you all that I don't know where to start. Let me sleep on it and I will get back to you tomorrow.

Memorial Day

2010-05-31T00:15:00.000-07:00

On this day when we take the time to honor our men and women in the Armed Forces who have and still are serving our country, let us do so in a practical way by giving to the Fisher House organization.This non-profit organization is offering a wonderful service to our wounded heroes!
Copied from the Fisher House website: http://www.fisherhouse.org/

"The Fisher House™ Program"

"The Fisher House™ program is a unique private-public partnership that supports America's military in their time of need. The program recognizes the special sacrifices of our men and women in uniform and the hardships of military service by meeting a humanitarian need beyond that normally provided by the Departments of Defense and Veterans Affairs.
Because members of the military and their families are stationed worldwide and must often travel great distances for specialized medical care, Fisher House™ Foundation donates "comfort homes," built on the grounds of major military and VA medical centers. These homes enable family members to be close to a loved one at the most stressful times - during the hospitalization for an unexpected illness, disease, or injury.

There is at least one Fisher House™ at every major military medical center to assist families in need and to ensure that they are provided with the comforts of home in a supportive environment. Annually, the Fisher House™ program serves more than 10,000 families, and have made available nearly three million days of lodging to family members since the program originated in 1990. By law, there is no charge for any family to stay at a Fisher House operated by the Department of Veterans Affairs; and Fisher House Foundation uses donations to reimburse the individual Fisher Houses operated by the Army, Navy, and Air Force. No family pays to stay at any Fisher House!

In addition to constructing new houses, Fisher House™ Foundation continues to support existing Fisher Houses™ and help individual military families in need. We are also proud to administer and sponsor Scholarships for Military Children, the Hero Miles program, and co-sponsor the Newman's Own Award."

You can go to their website and give online: http://www.fisherhouse.org/
Or, you can mail a donation to:

Fisher House™ Foundation, Inc.
111 Rockville Pike, Suite 420
Rockville, MD 20850-5168

Make checks payable to: Fisher House™ Foundation

Thank you for your support and thank you to each and every service man or woman to is serving to protect our country!

To All of Our Servicemen ~ In Honor of Memorial Day

2010-05-29T10:44:00.000-07:00

To All Our Veterans That are Serving and Have Served!

It is the

VETERAN,

not the preacher,

who has given us freedom of religion.

It is

the VETERAN,

not the reporter,

who has given us freedom of the press.

It is

the VETERAN,

not the poet,

who has given us freedom of speech.

It is

the VETERAN,

not the campus organizer,
who has given us freedom to assemble.

It is

the VETERAN,

not the lawyer,

who has given us the right to a fair trial.

It is

the VETERAN,

not the politician,

Who has given us the right to vote.

It is the

VETERAN who

salutes the Flag,

It is

the VETERAN

who serves

under the Flag,

We can be very proud of our young men
and women in the service no matter where they serve.

God Bless Them All!!!

Responsibility

2010-05-27T23:58:00.000-07:00

Responsibility? My child is too young to try to teach him to be responsible!! He is only two years old... he won't understand that.
Think again. At a very young age you can begin to instill a measure of responsibility in him. When you tell your child to pick up his toys you are teaching him to be responsible for his belongings.
Helping him learn to dress, eat, bathe and groom is teaching him to be responsibile for his own health and well being.
Expecting obedience and disciplining your child will teach him to be responsible for his behavior. If you ignore misbehavior or excuse it, your are letting your child know that ther are no consequences for his behavior and he does not have to take responsibility for his actions. That is disaster waiting to happen!
The foundation for responsibility starts at a very early age.
We will talk more about this soon....

To All the Kids Who Survived...

2010-05-22T10:56:00.000-07:00

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE

1930s, '40s, '50s, '60s and '70s!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who may have smoked and/or drank
while they were pregnant, not that we recommend it.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes or strep.

They had their babies on the babies schedule, not the doctor's.

Then, after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies

in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We were fed strawberries and peanut butter before we were one or two years old and lived.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets,

and, when we rode our bikes,

we had baseball caps,

not helmets, on our heads.

As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.

Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter, and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And we weren't overweight.

WHY?

Because we were always outside playing...that's why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day.

--And, we were OKAY.

We would spend hours building

our go-carts out of scraps

and then ride them down the hill,

only to find out we forgot the brakes... After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Play Stations, Nintendos and X-boxes. There were

no video games, no 150 channels on cable,

no video movies or DVDs,

no surround-sound or CDs,

no cell phones,

no personal computers,

no Internet and no chat rooms..

WE HAD FRIENDS

and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut,

broke bones and teeth,

and there were no lawsuits

from those accidents.

We would get spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping-pong paddles, or just a bare hand, and no one would call child services to report abuse.

We ate worms, and mud pies

made from dirt, and

the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls, and

-although we were told it would happen- we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts

and not everyone made the team.

Those who didn't had to learn

to deal with disappointment.

Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers,

problem solvers, and inventors ever.

The past 50 to 85 years have seen an explosion of innovation and new ideas..

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

If YOU are one of those born between 1925-1970,

CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.

While you are at it, show it to your kids, so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it

Too Cute!

2010-05-21T06:30:00.000-07:00

I was with my daughter and her two little girls the other day. Her little two year old, Margaret, loves anything hot and spicy, and was eating "hot fries". She had been munching for a while when she declared,"I all done now." After a short pause, she looked up at her mom and asked, "Mommy, why is the sun in my mouth?"

The Three R's by Example

2010-05-20T09:06:00.000-07:00

You know, I have been talking about the three R's... Respect, Resourcefulness, and Responsibility. These are all important traits for our children to learn as they are some of the basics of living a productive life.
This will not happen if we as parents do not set an example of being respectful, resourceful, and responsible.

How can our children learn to be respectful if they see us showing disrespect to other people around us? If we are lazy, or act as if we are owed a living, how can our children learn to be resourceful? If we blame others for our mistakes or excuse ourselves when we have done something wrong, will our children learn responsibility? CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE!!

More later!

What is Our Country Coming To?

2010-05-16T12:06:00.000-07:00

On the news yesterday, Wednesday, May 11....
A third grader in a Texas public school was put on a one week in school suspension for having a "controlled substance" in her possession. Oh my! That is your first thought... where are our children headed? Well, listen to this! The controlled substance was one Jolly Rancher piece of candy! Yes, you read that right... one piece of Jolly Rancher candy. The school policy is that there is to be no candy or gum on school property.Okay, so she did violate school policy, but one week suspension and "controlled substance"? She was given the candy by a friend at school and then she was caught. What is our country coming to?

What to you think about the increasing control our local, state and federal governments are using on us in regard to our children? Do you agree or disagree? Do you think they should tell us how to discipline, how to feed, how to educate, how to care for our children? Do we as parents have a God given right to control these aspects of our children's lives?

I am not talking about the obviously neglectful, abusive parents that are out there, but the responsible, caring, nurturing parents that are wanting to raise responsible, well behaved children in today's society.
Give me your thoughts!!

There is No Charge for Love

2010-05-14T08:30:00.000-07:00

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell.

He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups and

set about nailing it to a post on the edge of

his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the

post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked

down into the eyes of little boy.

"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your

puppies."

"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat

off the back of his neck, "These puppies come

from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."

The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then

reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a

handful of change and held it up to the farmer.

"I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take

a look?"

"Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out

a whistle.. "Here, Dolly!" he called.

Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran

Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.

The little boy pressed his face against the chain

link fence. His eyes danced with delight. As the

dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy

noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse.

Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up...

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the

runt. The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence,

reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his

trousers.

In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down

both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.

Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir,

I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone

who understands."

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and

picked up the little pup.

Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy.

"How much?" asked the little boy.

"No charge," answered the farmer, "There's no charge for love.."

The world is full of people who need someone who

understands..

Great Site!

2010-05-13T09:32:00.000-07:00

Have you checked out this site?
http://www.ready.gov/
This is a great site for information on preparedness for natural disasters ( hopefully no "unnatural" disasters).
You can download an emergency supply kit list, view a video, and look at many other resources. There is a very kid friendly children's page to help your children understand the importance of being prepared at home and at school.
Also check out this:
Find out how to keep food safe during and after an emergency by visiting:
www.foodsafety.gov/keep/
It is good to be prepared but let us all remember that God has also promised to take care of those who love Him and that is our ultimate safety!

Guest Blogger -Same Sweet Girl: Memoir of a Southern Belle

2010-05-12T02:30:00.000-07:00

I would like to welcome a guest blogger who so graciously allowed me to post this article from her blog, Same Sweet Girl: Memoir of a Southern Belle. Please take the time to visit her @ http://sweetsoutherncupcakes.blogspot.com/ .

This article goes along great with the second of the three R's....Responsibility

Succeeding on Your Job- (or, I would say, Succeeding at Living!)

When it comes to having a work ethic, "Go to the ant, consider it's ways and be wise." These tiny giants of industry teach us valuable principles for living. Observe three things about them: 1) The ant "has no commander, no overseer or ruler" (Pr 6:7) Nobody has to get it out of bed in the morning or coax it to get moving. Nobody supervises it's work or enforces quality standards on it. Nobody needs to micromanage it's time on the job or make sure it starts punctually, puts in a full day, pulls it's weight and doesn't quit early. It's self-motivated and driven by it's own high standards, not by rules, regulations or the fear of being fired. 2) It "stores it's provisions in summer and gathers it's food at harvest" (Pr 6:8) While everybody else is complaining about the heat (weather, economy, politics, etc.), the hard-working ant just keeps preparing for the future. 3) The ant is no haphazard, disorganized drifter wandering around aimlessly, looking for something to do. He knows exactly what he's there for and where and how to do it. He's goal-directed, focused, determined and unstoppable. "But my job's a dead end," you say. As long as you're in this job, do it "heartily, as to the Lord" (Col 3:23). Prove yourself where you are and God will promote you to better things.

That last sentence is my favorite and I always go back to it. I tend to get lazy and think that it doesn't really matter because I don't like my job anyway or I won't be here long...well, we can't think like that. We must work hard in whatever we are doing and do it to the absolute best of our ability. God will take notice and bless us with better things eventually. Remember this when you start to get lazy or careless in your job. I wish ya'll the best in whatever you are doing and I hope ya'll have a wonderful week!

"Excuse me", "Please", "Thank-you"

2010-05-11T17:29:00.000-07:00

Three simple expressions and yet we don't hear them enough.... "Please", "Thank-you" and "Excuse me". Why is it so hard to teach these to our children? It really isn't, it just requires commitment and consistancy. When the children are very, very young take the time to start teaching them to say these appropriately and very often. It is amazing how fast they can learn. Yes, you will be reminding them for the next 18 years, but that is okay. Learning is not an overnight process!!
Start at a very young age. When a young toddler is reaching for a cracker or a toy, say," Johnny, say "please"." This may seem usless at this age, but believe me, it is instilling a habit into your child and it will stick! The same goes with saying "Thank-you'. It alway does my heart good when, after dinner at our house, my little 2 year old granddaughter comes to where I am sitting and says,"Gwamma, fank you for the dinner."Aww, how sweet! Yes, it is true that her parents had to remind her to say it, but it will pay off in the long run. You are teaching a child to be respectful to those who are caring for them, who have supplied their needs,or who have given them something special. They are being taught to think of others. This is also helping them to learn to be thankful to the One who created everything in this world... our God. This is something none of us can do too much of.. being thankful to the Creator of the whole universe.

Have you ever been standing with a group of people and suddenly one or more children come running right through the middle of the group? Did they say "excuse me", or go around the group? Nope, right through the very middle! Chidren need to be taught very early that this is not acceptable. If there is no other way around, they should slow down and quietly but clearly say "excuse me" and then walk, not run, through the crowd. Children should be taught to asked to be excused when they leave the table after a meal. They should asked to be excused if they have to interrupt a conversation. Each and every time you teach these simple acts of politeness to your children, you are teaching them to respect others.

Respect - Part 1 of the 3 R's

2010-05-11T16:43:00.000-07:00

This is going to take more than a day to cover, so I am going to divide it into parts.

Respect is something that so many children don't even begin to comprehend. Why is that, you might ask? Well, one big reason is that the children of the last few generations have been and are being raised in an "all about me" society. Parents give, give, give and let their whole life revolve around their children. Children are being programmed to think that they are the most important creatures on earth and everything should rotate on its axis around them. If they say jump , their parents ask,"How high?" How can they respect another person, when it all revolves around them?

Even when children are very young they need to be taught that they are to respect other people, their possessions, their feelings, their thoughts and their time. They need to understand that they are the children and you are the adult and others, are or will be the authority in their lives. You and the grandparents, the aunts and uncles, the babysitter, the teachers, the minister, the policeman, etc...They are all people that your children need to learn to respect and be respectful to, because they are also an authority figure in their lives. How, you say do I teach them this?

Children can begin, even at a very young age, to learn to respect their parents and the fact that they are to always pay attention to their parents, but it will not alway be reciprical. You will not always give them the attention they want. By instilling this into your child, at a very young age, you are teaching them that your time is going to be shared by them, with others.

When "Johnny" pulls on your skirt and demands your attention, you say," No, Johnny, I am busy right now and I cannot pick you up."

Or, You are feeding your new baby and Johnny wants to go outside.. you say," I cannot take you outside, you will have to wait." You are teaching him to share his time with others and that will in turn teach him to respect others.

As soon as a child learns to talk, it is important to teach him or her to speak in a respectful manner. They should be taught to say, "Yes,ma'am", "No, sir", or at least say clearly and politely, "Yes" or "No". When they are speaking to adults especially, don't let them get into the habit of saying, Yeah, or some other noise that indicates yes or no. They should look people in the eye when they are talking to them, not at the ceiling or the floor. When an adult speaks to them, they should acknowledge that adult and respond to them.

I cannot emphasize enough that children have to learn that there will always be an authority figure over them in some capacity. If an adult tells them to do something, or NOT do something, again, they should be taught to respond in an appropriate manner and to do it respectfully. (I am not talking about strangers)

Children can be taught at a young age not to interrupt. I have seen children run to their daddy and tugging on their daddy's pants, say," 'cuse me, Daddy, 'cuse me, Daddy, 'cuse me, Daddy....", all the while, Daddy is trying to carry on a conversation. I am sorry, that is not being taught to be polite or respectful. That is disrespect clothed in a form of politeness. The parent should not feel that they have to end a conversation just because Johnny wants to be pushed on a swing. A child should be taught to come to their dad or mom, touch them on the hand or leg in order for the parent to know they are there, and then wait quietly until the parent can talk to them. Now obviously, if little sister was just flushed down the toilet, then there is a place for interruption.

More on respect later.... If you have any questions, please let me know.

Oh Happy Day! from The Virginia House

2010-05-08T10:59:00.000-07:00

This is from my daughter's blog, http://www.thevirginiahouse.blogspot.com/

As you can see, she has a great writing ability, a rare sense of humor and is a great blogger! She is a wonderful daughter, wonderful wife and wonderful mother to 2 incredibly darling little boys! Do I sound like a proud mother and gramma?
She has a fantastic blog about decorating with a very unique twist. Go check her site and follow. You will be glad you did!

Oh Happy Day!

Hey to you and hey to me
To all the mothers (we're so happy to be!)
I hope the day is full of fun
Some great burnt toast and some eggs well done
Perhaps a flower to rest on your ear
Some sticky hands and a happy tear
Stay in bed till your back is sore
You deserve it after scrubbing them floors
Lets not mention that pile of clothes
The dirty faces and the snotty nose
A Mothers work doesn't ever end
When it does, then we just start it all again
So take a moment to pamper yourself
Or better yet, just let someone else
Don't forget to give your own mother a call
Or she won't let you forget it till sometime next fall
If no one is there to give your back a pat
It's ok to reach around and slap that old back fat

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL!!!

http://www.thevirginiahouse.blogspot.com

Baby Book Giveaway Winner!!!

2010-05-05T21:30:00.000-07:00

Congratulations go to Traci66!!! She is the lucky winner of my beautiful "Guess How Much I Love You" baby book. I know she will enjoy it!
Please check back! I will be hosting more giveaways in the future! Who knows what it will be!

The Three R's of Life

2010-05-05T14:48:00.000-07:00

The three R's in life.... we all know what they are don't we? We all learned them in school...reading, 'riting and 'rithmetic!!
No, those are not the three R's that I am talking about. The ones I am talking about incompass those three R's, but if you don't have what I am talking about, you won't get very far, or be successful even with the other three R's. Am I getting confusing?? I will explain.
The most important Three R's in the world are....
Respect
Resourcefulness
Responsibility
These three elements of our lives are the foundation for successful living.
Come back tomorrow, let's sit down and start talking about them!

Too Old For Yard Sales?

2010-05-03T07:59:00.000-07:00

You might be wondering where I have been all weekend?..... I was hosting a yard sale! Ugh!!! I really don't mind, but the preparation just wore me out. I was so tired after it was done that I could hardly move. Now I have a truckload of stuff that I still have to get rid of.
I really did okay, but maybe my expectations were too high.... I didn't sell near as much as I was hoping I would sell. The weather was beautiful and people came, but there were numerous other tings going on in our area that were big attractions. Oh well, we did it, got rid of some stuff and now I have to dispose of the rest!

I will be back this evening or tomorrw morning to pick the winner of the Mother's Day basket. I will let you all know the winner as soon as I do!
See ya soon!

Fantastic site!! Absolutely FREE!! Save Hundreds of Dollars!

2010-04-28T10:30:00.000-07:00

Check out this site I found totally by accident! This is for anyone who does not have insurance or prescription coverage. You can print out a prescription card to save money at the pharmacy. I have used it and it works, no questions, no hassles. I saved $10.00 on a prescription at Walmart! There is nothing to join and nothing to pay.You can also save money on lab testing and imaging services.
Go to: http://www.rxcut.com/ and start saving!

Television

2010-04-27T17:04:00.000-07:00

I am starting this post by quoting a poem that most of us know, if not by heart then at most we've probably read it.

Children and Television

(Poem taken from Roald Dahl's book, Charlie and The Chocolate Factory)

"The most important thing we've learned,

So far as children are concerned,

Is never, NEVER, NEVER let

Them near your television set-

Or better still, just don't install

The idiotic thing at all.

In almost every house we've been,

We've watched them gaping at the screen.

They loll and slop and lounge about,

And stare until their eyes pop out.

(Last week in someone's place we saw

A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)

They sit and stare and stare and sit

Until they're hypnotized by it,

Until they're absolutely drunk

With all that shocking ghastly junk.

Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,

They don't climb out the window sill,

They never fight or kick or punch,

They leave you free to cook the lunch

And wash the dishes in the sink-

But did you ever stop to think,

To wonder just exactly what

This does to your beloved tot?

IT ROTS THE SENSES IN THE HEAD!

IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!

IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!

IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND

HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND

A FANTASY, A FAIRY LAND!

HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!

HE CANNOT THINK-HE ONLY SEES!

'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right' you'll say,

'But if we take the set away,

What shall we do to enertain

Our darling children? Please explain!'

We'll answer this by asking you,

'What used the darling ones to do?

'How used they keep themselves contented

Before this monster was invented?

Have you forgotten? Don't you know?

We'll say it very loud and slow:

THEY. . . USED . . . TO . . . READ! They'd

READ and READ,

AND READ and READ, and then proceed

TO READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!

One half their lives was reading books!

The nursery shelves held books galore!

Books cluttered up the nursery floor!

And in the bedroom, by the bed,

Parent or Friend

2010-04-23T16:55:00.000-07:00

Do you want to be a parent or a friend to your young children? Why, you say, can't I be both? Let's talk about this for a few minutes.
In the society, there is a lot of emphasis put on being friends with your children and little on being "THE PARENT". THE PARENT is the authoritarian, the boss, the disciplinarian, the "big cheese". Would you want a friend to be like that?
John Rosemond, in his book,"Making the "Terrible" Twos Terrific", says that a good parent is a "mean parent".
His definition of "mean" is a parent who is assertive, consistant, calm and insistant. They don't scream, yell, bully and are not abusive. They say what they mean and mean what they say.
Effective parenting is setting boundaries that children know they are not to cross. Effective parents will not allow misbehavior nor do they allow 2nd, 3rd and 4th chances. They never reason with a child and there is no counting to ten or any other form of conjoling. The parent will expect obedience the first time they tell their child what they want them to do.

Parents who are effective do not change from day to day. What they did yesterday or last week will be the same today and next week. Because of this, childen learn to trust their parents and find great security in them. Most children will not like what their parents tell them, but they will respect them for what they say.

One of the greatest problems in our public school systems is the breakdown of control and discipline. Teachers and principals are afraid of children and their parents, and for good reason. When I was in school, I knew that I had better not misbehave in class. If I did, and my parents found out, (and they would), I would not only get punished in school, but I would also get punished when I got home! That was great motivation to behave myself! Today, unfortunately, parents have the misconception that they have to stick up for their children, run interference and offer excuses. An effective parent will make their children shoulder the responsibility for their actions and the consequences that follow. If a child misbehaves, the parent allows them to take the punishment they deserve and therefore learn from their mistakes. The parent will also reinforce what the consequences will be if the misbehavior is repeated.
Can you be a "friend" through this process? No, you are the authority figure in your child's life right now. Friendship comes later. Teaching your children to trust, respect and obey you as an authority figure in their lives will create a foundation for a lasting friendship in their adult years.

Children Learn What They Live

2010-04-22T09:07:00.000-07:00

If children live with criticism.
    They learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility,
    They learn to fight.
If children live with ridicule,
     They learn to be timid.
If children live with shame,
    They learn to feel guilty.
If children live with understanding,
    They learn to be patient.
If children live with encouragement,
    They learn confidence.
If children live with praise,
    They learn to appreciate.
If children live with fairness,
    They learn justice.
If children live with security,
    They learn to have faith.
If hildren live with approval,
    They learn to like themselves.
If children live with acceptance and friendship,
    They learn to find love.

Second Chances

2010-04-20T09:35:00.000-07:00

If you all think that I was a perfect mom who never got upset, mad or frustrated, THINK AGAIN. Many times I was all of those!. The ideas I am sharing are things I did that worked, but unfortunately I didn't do them all the time. If I had, it would have saved me a lot of frustration.

The hardest thing to do, as a mother with young children, is to follow through with the discipline you are trying to do. You think, at the time, that it is easier to give a second chance. You are busy with other things and let it slide but in doing that you are defeating the purpose of the discipline. Anytime you give a second chance you are telling your child that he doesn't have to obey the first time because mom or dad will always give a second chance. Then the second chance becomes a third, fourth or fifth chance and you have become extremely frustrated and maybe even angry.

It does not take long to make a child understand that when you tell him/her something, your expectations are that he/she will follow your orders right then, no questions asked. You don't say, "Sally, will you please pick up your toys for Mommy?" That is putting your child on an equal level with you. You are giving Sally an option to accomodate you if she so desires. You instead say,"Sally, I want you to pick up all of your toys immediately." You are the boss! She is not helping you, she is obeying you. If the orders are not followed immediately, you calmly inact a punishment that will leave an impression upon the child.

A time out for a young child, 2 or older, is effective if you make it severe enough. Five minutes will NOT work. Find a chair, turn it so that it faces the corner, and sit the child in it, telling him that he must sit there for one hour, two hours, three hours because he did not obey you. Choose whatever time you think it will take to make an impression. He/ she cannot talk, cannot look around and cannot do anything for that time period. That may seem too harsh for you, but the punishment must leave an impression upon the child, in order for him/her not to repeat it. You may have to stay right there with them for the time to make it work the first few times. If the child cries and misbehaves then you extend the time. A kitchen timer is very helpful, as young children do not have any concept of what an hour is. You tell them that if they sit there quietly until the bell rings, they can then get up. When the bell rings, sit them on your lap, reaffirm your love for them, tell them again why you made them sit in the corner and firmly tell them that everytime they disobey they will have to sit on the chair facing the corner for one hour or longer. Then, FOLLOW THROUGH! If this is done consistantly, and they truely do not have anything to do for that hour, they will soon decide that it is much more beneficial for them to obey.
If your child is having a temper tantrum, don't try to placate them or bribe them into behaving. Calmly pick them up and take them to their room. Put them in their bed or crib and tell them that they are to stay there until they can be quiet.They are not to get out of their bed until you say they can. When they are quiet you will come get them. Then go out and shut the door. When you do come to get them, again, reaffirm your love for them, and tell them that each time they have a temper tantrum, they will have to go to bed until they can behave.
You might say," That might work at home, but what about when I am out with the children?" I promise you, if you do this consistantly at home, the benefits will carry over when you ar out in public. Studies have shown that a three year old can retain things for 8 hours. If your three years old misbehaves in public and you tell him that he is going to have a time out in his room when he gets home, HE WILL REMEMBER. Then, when he returns home, you remind him of how he misbehaved and what his punishment is and then you follow through.
Enough for now... I welcome your thoughts!

"I said said so, THAT'S WHY!!!"

2010-04-19T18:12:00.000-07:00

When our children were young we did not have any extra money floating around. With 6 children it seemed that there was always "too much month left over at the end of our money". To help ease things financially, I babysat other children during the day, some after school and some all day. Very often my house resembled a zoo at any given moment. Somehow we survived!!

An interesting thing happened on more than one occasion... A mom or dad would come to pick up their child at the close of the work day. I had watched this child from 7:30 to 6:00 and had very little problems. He/she would play, interact with others, and generally be a well behaved little person. When the parent walked in the door, the child turned, in an instance, into a holy terror, screaming, kicking and demanding the parent's attention. What happened???
This child knew what methods worked with their parents.
The parent would ask," What do you do to make your children so well behaved?" I would share with them some of our secrets but they would not want to use the principles we used, even though those very principles brought about happy, respectful, well adjusted children.

Numerous times while eating out with our family at a restaurant, when they were all under the age of 13, other diners would approach our table, usually remarking on the size of our family. In the course of the conversation, they would compliment us on how well behaved our little ones were. My husband and I would look at each other rather blankly...."this is normal".

Honestly, I am not telling this to brag, but just to try to make a point.... loving, effective discipline works, consistent child training works, but it is hard work! It was hard work and God's help that made it happen.
So what did we do??....
The number one priority was obedience. We expected to be obeyed no matter what. At a very early age, we started training our children to obey. When they were crawling around, pulling up to things, reaching for things, we worked on abedience. If they reached for something that was "off limits", they were firmly told "NO" and taken away from the temptation. If we were at a Bible study, they were taught to be quiet. They soon learned that "no" means "NO". As they grew older, "no" still meant "no" and it was because "I said so!"
No arguing, no questions. If we were not obeyed, the children knew there would be consequences.

I am going to go into depth about some of this in later chapters, but I want to say one thing right now... Our children today are not warped, stifled, backward, socially inept misfits, but rather are happy, well adjusted, interesting, productive men and women. Heaven forbid, they were disciplined!
Whew! My knees are stiff from standing on my soapbox so long. I will climb down and head for bed..Come again tomorrow and we will get into some specifics.

The "Honeymoon" is over

2010-04-17T07:26:00.000-07:00

Even if you don't recognize it, the last 10-12 months since your precious little one came into this world were truely the "honeymoon months". Yeah, there were sleepless night, colic, teething, etc, but between those times you could just love, cuddle and enjoy. Each day brought something new as baby learned and tried new things.
Now, you have an 18 month old who is still trying new things, including your patience! Why is little Jack or Sally suddenly throwing temper tantrums when you tell them "No"? Why are they not wanting to go to bed, eat, play with their toys and numerous other things? Why are they testing the limits on everything? You are pulling your hair out and what you don't pull, baby does! Welcome to the world of parenting 101!

Parenting does not have to be a frustrating venture and somthing to dread. Yes, it is a challenge, but it is up to you as a parent to face it with confidence and assurance that you can do it and do it successfully.

I'll be back....

2010-04-12T13:34:00.001-07:00

Can there be anything more wonderful than time with your family! We just returned from 5 days in the Smoky Mountains with all of our children, their spouses and our grandchildren.

It was truly awesome! We are all so different and yet so much the same. It is our uniqueness that adds the spice, the fun, and the laughter to being together.

Right now, I am doing my taxes. I will be back when those are done!! Wish me well......

Hello from the Great Smokey's

2010-04-09T09:37:00.000-07:00

Hi Everybody!
I am sorry I haven't written in the last few days! I am having a wonderful time with all of my family (minus 1 son-in-law who had to work). There are 26 of us in a beautiful 7 bedroom log home perched high on the side of a mountain, with a gorgeous view of a taller range of mountains. It snowed last night up on the top of the mountains. On the lower sides, there is just the faintest hint of green beginning to show.
I have with me, my husband of 39 years, 2 sons, 4 daughters, 3 sons-in-law, 2 daughters-in-law, 7 grandsons and 6 grandaughters. Nine of the children are under 5 years old!!! It is a busy, noisy, funny, happy time!! I will write more when I get the time.

2010-04-04T09:24:00.000-07:00

Everyone who reads this may be wondering what "baby blues", colic, tired parents and messy houses has to do with happy homes. It is all part of the framework in building "The Happiest Family on the Block." If you and your spouse become overwhelmed, frustrated, upset and resentful because your lives suddenly seem out of control, it could lead to lasting problems in your marriage and home. Now is the time to practice communication, unselfishness, being affectionate and working together toward a common goal. Each is a stepping stone to a great relationship that will bring incredible rewards later on.

It would be so easy for me, as a mother, gramma, and doula to branch off into other aspects of infant care, but I want to stay on track with having a happy home. We will explore more baby care in later visits.
Right now....

Modern psychology has has an incredible impact on child training in the last few decades, much of it very flawed. In the past 50 years, we as a society have seen growing problems with young children, adolescents, teenagers and young adults. There has been an incredible rise in violence, depression, self mutilation, eating disorders, suicide and a general lack of respect for authority. Why? If these "new and better" ways of parenting are so great why are we and our chlidren on such a slippery slope to self-destruction? I am going to spend quite a bit of time on this, because I do know what works and I want to share this with you. Let's get together real soon!

In the meantime, let me know what you want to talk about. E-mail me @louisacottage@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you!

Habits

2010-04-01T20:01:00.000-07:00

Gosh, I am tired! I have been with my daughter and her girls today.. having a great time being Gramma!
I just have a little thought for today...
We are all creatures of habit. We get up at a certain time, shower, brush our teeth, eat , some of us go to work or clean house. The same things day in and day out. We kiss our husband or wife hello and goodbye, "Luv ya!", all of this is more or less habit.
Today, try something different. Thinks of something very special you know your spouse would like to have, or do. Now, go make it happen. Get into it and make it a special, happy time to show your spouse how much you love and appreciate him or her. You and your marriage will reap the benefit of your little moment of thoughtfulness.
Now, I am to bed!!!

Chapter Ten - DADS!

2010-03-30T08:57:00.000-07:00

"The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."

Dad, today is your's!

I know there are many times you come in your front door after a hard day at work, looking for that peace and comfort of being at HOME. You want to tell your wife about the problems you have had with your boss and co-workers. You want her sympathy and comfort. What meets you? Total chaos! The house looks as if it was turned upside down, the baby is screaming, your wife looks as if she hasn't brushed her hair for a week....baby's spit-up is on her shoulder. What are you going to do? Now is your chance to shine or to blow it totally! You can start in by criticising the looks of the house, asking her what she has done all day and when in the world is dinner going to be ready!! "I am starving!"

OR, you can give her a hug and kiss, ask her how her day was and then listen while she cries on your shoulder about everything that went wrong! You can take the baby and let him/her spit-up on your expensive, new suit and quiet the little munchkin down. If you have more than one child, you can play with them, entertaining them while your wife prepares dinner for all. Do your part in picking up toys, sweeping the floor and helping with the dishes. There will be time, after you help her get them settled in bed, for you to tell her about your day. She will be able to be receptive to you then.

By pitching in, being the strong one, putting her needs before your own, you have brought peace and order to your home and made your wife the "happiest woman on the block". You have shown your love to her in a real, tangible way and she will thank you for it!

Chapter Nine - Time with your spouse

2010-03-29T13:03:00.000-07:00

"If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" This is true for Dads too. Let's try to help!

Don't you hate it when you have had a long, frazzled day and you feel like a wrung out dishrag? You just don't want to do anything! Maybe you have been running around taking care of a dozen different projects. All you feel like you have been doing for weeks is just saying "Hi" and "Bye" to your spouse. That is so easy to do when children come along.. you have PTA, soccer practice, gymnastics, the baby's sick, the washer stopped working, etc., etc.

Jan Blaustone said in her book, "The Joy of Parenthood, "Quality time" begins with your marriage. What's good for your marriage is good for your children."
It is time for some quality time alone with your spouse. Time to talk, to just enjoy each other's company. Call your Mom, call the teenage girl down the street, call anyone you can trust and get away for awhile. It doesn't have to mean you spend a lot of money, it just means time together. Go window shopping at the mall, go to the local library, have a drink at Starbucks or stroll through the park together. If you like fishing, bowling, ice skating or tennis, it doesn't cost much to indulge in any of these once in a while.

The important thing is to get away and spend time together without your children. They will be fine and you are not depriving the them of a thing. In fact, if you come back refreshed and relaxed, you have done yourself and your children a favor! You are showing your spouse that you think they are very important to you and that will only strengthen your marriage.

A happy couple is a happy home!

Chapter Eight - Enjoy!!

2010-03-27T06:29:00.000-07:00

Every Day is a New Day
You are a happy family of three now! It is the time to enjoy that precious bundle you have. You don't have to worry about spoiling the baby at this age. Babies cannot be spoiled for the first month or so. You don't have to discipline or wonder what mischief he/she is getting into. That will come before you know it. You can hold and cuddle to your heart's content.
Involve your husband. Lots of husband's want to help but are not sure about what to do. Give him a chance to bond with the baby by holding, comforting, changing diapers, and bathing.
Treasure every change! Write down each new event in the growth and development of your baby. You will be so glad you did! At this new age there will be change each and every day. I remember, when my babies were little, looking forward and enjoying each new milestone in our babies' lives. It passes so soon!

My Little Cowboys

Before you know it, baby will be reaching out and touching things, probably things you don't want them to touch. You will come it one morning and find him/her on their stomach when you left them on their back! They will soon be holding their head up which will lead to sitting up. Then it will be crawling, pulling up to chairs and other furniture, followed by walking. So soon they will be "little cowboys" and more. Where did time go? Life is constantly changing to adapt to baby's changing world.

Chapter Seven - Postpartum Care

2010-03-26T09:42:00.000-07:00

Postpartum Care-Depression, Rest, Eating, Houswork
You are home now. Life is not the same as it used to be.... You are tired, your bottom hurts, your house is a mess, baby didn't sleep much last night, you feel like crying all the time.... is it worth it? Yes, it is and now is the time for you to take care of yourself.

You have the most beautiful baby God ever created! You had an awesome labor and delivery, or maybe it wasn't so awesome. You husband has been the most wonderful, helpful and loving husband you could ever wish for, so why are you crying? Why does the whole world look gray today? The most important thing to realize is the postpartum depression,"baby blues", is real. It is to be expected and is a normal part of your post natal recovery. Don't try to hold it in. Share with your husband what you are feeling. Cry on his shoulder... it is broad. If it is warm weather, get out and walk. Put the baby in the stroller and take a stroll, breathing in the fresh air. Take time for yourself and realize that "this too shall pass". You will feel like this for a few days or maybe a few weeks and then it will vanish. If it lasts longer than that or gets worse don't hesitate to call your OB doctor. They know what to do to help.

You need to sleep when baby sleeps. Let everything go, lie down and rest. Being tired affects every aspect of your life. If you can't sleep, take that time to indulge yourself in a long soaking bath or shower, a good hair wash and manicure. It will make you feel so much better!

Ask for and receive help. There are friends and family who would be glad to come over and lend a helping hand. Even if it is only for 1 hour, it will give you time to get out, take a walk, sit down and eat a relaxing meal, or just relax. If you don't have any friends or family close by, ask your hubby to hire a postpartum doula to mother you. They are wonderful! Go to www.dona.org to find a doula in your area. If someone offers to bring you a meal, DO NOT REFUSE!

Eat well. It is so easy when you are tired and overwhelmed to not sit down and eat a good meal. Make sure you try to eat a balanced diet, complete with lots of fruits and vegetables , protein and whole grains. Drink lots of liquids, milk, juices and lots and lots of water.

Prioritize. Your live has changed now . Things are going to be different so decide what is important in your life right now. Obviously taking care of your baby and yourself is tops. You don't have a choice there! In the first few weeks don't push yourself and don't expect perfection.

I believe having a clean kitchen goes a long ways in keeping your spirits up. Enlist the help of your husband in keeping it tidy.

You need clean clothes. There again, your husband can be a big help in throwing a load or two of wash in the machine. You can sit on the sofa or bed and fold them as they come out of the dryer and he can put them where they belong.

Straighten the main livng areas as needed. Notice I said straighten. No heavy lifting, no vacuuming, no mopping the kitchen floor. Get someone to help you do those things or just let them slide. The dusting, vacuuming, cleaning the mirrors, ironing, and cleaning out the refrigerator CAN WAIT!
Rest and enjoy that precious little one!

A happy mama is a happy home!

The youngest Grandson!

Chapter Six - Colic

2010-03-25T08:57:00.000-07:00

Chapter six - Colic and The Crying Baby

I sure hope your baby isn't still crying!!! Let's fix it!!! Maybe baby is just tired. Many times being overtired will cause a baby to cry. I found that lowering the lights, putting on soft music, YOU RELAXING, and quietly rocking the baby, will gradually soothe baby into sleep.
Another big problem are tummy aches. There are multiple reasons for tummy aches... Mommy ate the wrong things, formula is wrong, baby has gotten too tired, baby is constipated, etc. You have to try to isolate the problem.
New mothers often don't realize how much what they eat can affect their baby, if they are breastfeeding. If they are somewhat aware, they will be careful with broccoli, cauliflower, spicy foods. Even so, there are may other things that can cause tummy problems in babies and I will name a few..... lettuce, coffee, all milk products, legumes, tomatoes. It can really be a trial and error effort to find out the problem. So what do you do in the meantime???

Here are a few hints to try.

At all drugstores and healthfood stores there are products to try. There are baby colic formulas, drops and tablets. There are Mylicon drops which are very fast acting and effective. You can try GripWater or Colic Calm, which is available at most healthfood stores. After you have given the baby these drops, swaddle him/her snuggly. Pull the babies feet up so that they are in a knee chest position and hold the baby against your chest and rock or lightly bounce. This will usually bring relief. Many times it helps to hold the baby facing out, against your chest, with your arm pressed against their tummy.
There are Homeopathic remedies available for tummy aches and colic. Ask someone at a local health food or vitamin shop for help. I will talk more about Homeopathy later.
Another thing to try is fennel tea. Take about 15 fennel seeds and boil them in 1 cup of water. Let steep for 15-20 minutes and cool. Give baby about 5 drops in mouth or in a bottle with a small amount of water. You can put just a dab of sugar in to make it taste better. Use this a couple of times a day for maybe a week. Don't use continously for longer than that, as it could affect the kidneys.
And when all else fails, you can call Mom!!!
If none of these things work, talk to your pediatrician about your diet and other things that might be affecting the baby. Some babies have reflux and there are things to do to help combat that problem.
I do hope baby is quiet now!

A happy baby is a happy home!

Is it Colic?

2010-03-22T11:20:00.000-07:00

Chapter Five- Is it Colic?

You're home...you're on your own.... baby is screaming... what do you do??!!!!
First things first. YOU RELAX!! Now I know that sounds impossible, but it isn't, truly it isn't. The baby is not going to get sick from crying, it is fixable and it will be okay! Realize that your tension and stress communicates to the baby. The tenser you get the harder the baby will cry!
Second: Try to find the source of the problem. Maybe baby is hungry, needs a diaper change, is tired, has a tummy ache, or is feeling insecure. Let's see if we can't fix these!
If you fed the baby within the last hour, chances are that hunger is not the problem. Don't try to feed him/her again at this point.

Some babies REALLY do not like a wet or messy diaper, some don't seem to care at all. If you are new to parenting you might not understand just how often and how fast these little munchkins can dirty a diaper.
"But I just changed him/her!!!" Yup, that's right you just did... but baby just did it again!
More soon.....

The Baby's Home!!?!?!

2010-03-21T20:17:00.000-07:00

Chapter Four - New Baby

Your dream has come true.. you think??!! You had a fantastic pregnancy..maybe.. you had a wonderful experience in labor and delivery and now you are cuddling this precious little addition to your perfect family.
Mom, dad and baby are home........ baby has not stopping crying since you all pulled into the garage! "HELP! I can't do this!!!"
Well, I am here to tell you that you can do it. I will help to guide you through the messy diapers, the sleepless nights, the spitup on the floor, the piled up dishes and the screaming baby that you love with all your tired, worn out, blue, crying heart!!
Where do we begin? Let's start with that sweet little screaming baby!! We've got to get him/her quiet so we can think!

My Sweet Hubby

2010-03-21T19:30:00.000-07:00

Chapter Three - Marriage

I was sitting at my table yesterday, slaving over my book sales, when in walked my husband with a handful of beautiful daffodils!! How sweet!! They meant as much to me as if he had bought a huge bouquet of roses! He picked them from around the edge of our property where they are growing wild. I love it!! That is what I call thoughtful!
I promised I would start our visit about raising children, but I have had a nasty, cruddy cold and have not felt like raising my little finger. I promise I will write soon!

Be Nice!

2010-03-15T19:43:00.000-07:00

Chapter Two

Do you ever get so mad because you husband left his socks on the floor AGAIN??...or your wife forgot to wash those socks and now you have to wear the same ones you wore yesterday? That is so aggravating!!!! You want to just give him/her a piece of your mind!! Maybe it was worse; your wife just backed into your new car..... Hang in there, chill, count to one hundred.... we all make mistakes. What you need to do is, swallow your pride and just forget it. It isn't worth creating a scene just to make your point. Just go in there and pick up the socks... go give your wife a hug and tell her its okay!! BE NICE!!! That is what you do ...BE NICE!!! Getting even will leave a bitter taste in your mouth and a rip in the fabric of your marriage!

BE THOUGHTFUL!!

My husband came in from work the other day... I was feeling yucky with a cold, headache, and fever. He had in his hand a small bouquet of flowers that he had bought from a local grocery store. Just seeing them made me feel better!! You know, those meant as much as a dozen red roses. Why?? Because of the thought behind it!! It doesn't have to cost a lot of money to be thoughtful. A little note in his lunchbox to tell him you love him, a note taped to the mirror that will help him start a new day. ...A call to your sweetie in the middle of the day, just to say you love him/her. You could fix his favorite meal.... ask him how his day was and quietly listen as he rants and raves about his boss! Offer to watch the children so she can go out shopping by herself. WOW! What a treat! Thoughtfulness goes a long way and covers a multitude of mistakes!

Don't Take Your Spouse for Granted

I know of so many marriages that fall apart because one or both partners took the other one for granted. Remember the little things you did for each other when you were engaged and first marrried... how often you spent time together... how often you just sat and talked and listened to each other. Don't give those special times up! Don't forget to listen to your spouses needs, dreams, and wishes. They are so important in keeping a marriage alive!

Don't Retaliate
So your spouse has just called you a fat, lazy slob. (I hope not) Steam is absolutely boiling out of your ears. You want to blast him/her away with words! This is when you count to 10, 100, 1000, whatever it takes to keep from being spiteful right back. Retaliating will do no good! The momentary pleasure you get from doing it will not be worth the added pain it brings to your marriage. When I got married, I set a rule in my mind regarding my husband and future children. I would never say anything that would unjustly, unfairly hurt the one I was talking to. I mentally pictured my words on my tongue before they came out and if they wre hurtful, I would try to swallow them. I did not succeed everytime, I know that and my husband and children will tell you that. Many times, though, I swallowed words that almost choked me, because I knew how much they would hurt our relationship. The trite little ditty," Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me", is the most untrue saying that was ever created. Words will tear and destroy any relationship, whether it is with your spouse, your children or your friends!

You know, there are so many thing we could talk about regarding marriage but let's move on... we can come back here later. Tomorrow, we will talk awhile about raising children. Bring your coffee cup and I will fill it up!

Happy Marriage

2010-03-11T09:09:00.000-08:00

Chapter One - Happy Marriage

Guess what!!! Marriage is work!!! But it is fun work. Having a sense of humor, playing some jokes, laughing a lot, loving a lot, praying a lot...making a journey of memories. My husband and I still laugh at the jokes we pulled on each other when we were first married. Now he knows I DON'T LIKE FROGS... He came home one night with his lunch box in hand. When I opened his thermos, out jumped a tree frog and landed right on me. I was not a happy camper then, but it is so funny now when I think about it. I got him back... One morning I crept into the bathroom as he was showering, knelt down in front of the tub, reached under the shower curtain and grabbed his ankles.. OHHH, I can still hear his yell!!!!! I thought he was coming over the top! We are still married, and it has been 38+ years of fun, work, laughter, tears, sorrows and many, many joys!!

Relax and let me share a few tips.

Say, "I love you". Say it when you leave the house, say it on the phone, say it in a note, say it when you go to sleep. You can't say it too many times! It will be a soft whisper in the heart of your loved one throughout the day.

Say, "I am sorry." Ohhhhhhhhhhh, this is hard!! We all have an over-abundance of pride and we don't want to say these three simple little words. Maybe you aren't the only one who is wrong. Guess what, someone has to be first. Go ahead, swallow your pride and SAY IT!! What healing it will bring!

Come back for more. It will be exciting as we work through ways to make your home the "Happiest Family on the Block".

2010-03-08T19:30:00.000-08:00

The Family

The family is like a book---

The children are the leaves,

The parents are the covers

That protecting beauty gives.

At first the pages of the book

Are blank and purely fair,

But Time soon writes the memories

and paints the pictures there.

Love is the little golden clasp

That tightly bind the trust;

Oh, do not break it, or all the leaves

Will scatter and be lost!